Take yourself back to when you were 16. You were a completely different person than you are today, right? As we grow up, we grow out of bedrooms, haircuts, friendship and, more often than not, relationships.
What we felt as heartbreak back then, we now see as our first crush welcoming a two-week relationship with someone else. However, we soon realized it wasn’t as detrimental as we thought, and we managed to move on.
I’m not suggesting actual heartbreak is comparable to teenage unrequited love, so don’t think I am underestimating the impact it can have.
Real heartbreak can utterly obliterate an individual, chip away at his or her character and cause complete devastation. You are left with a kind of nothingness, as though you are holding your breath, but do not want to exhale because then it will be over.
Regardless of how much you want the pain to end, it is the only attachment you still have to the individual, so it can feel better to brave through it than lose it for good.
Heartbreak leaves your entire body empty and your mind completely consumed. You are incapable of shaking your ex from your thoughts and everything you do, say, see or hear minds you of him or her.
You hate your ex for leaving, yet long for him or her back. The absence of this person has created a hole no one will ever fill. Even if you fall for someone else in the future, it will be a different kind of love, of which will hold a different part of your heart.
We go on dates thinking this person could be “the one,” and without getting to know him or her, we are blinded by the illusion of love and fantasy of romance. Real love will break our hearts, hurt us, deflate and wreck our self-confidence. It’s something you won’t find in the movies.
However, just like your 16-year-old self, you will overcome this. You may feel as though you’re watching your life go by in fast forward with you stuck in pause, but you must keep moving.
It’s okay to cry; it doesn’t mean you’re weak. But when you do stop, do not cry again. Never go back to the person that hurt you and put you through this pain.
Once the trust has gone, it will never be the same, no matter how hard you try. You will always be suspicious and curious if this person was capable of doing it before.
This is the first and hardest part of letting go of the pain, but it will be the beautiful beginning to you moving on. If you’re giving love and not receiving it, you’re in the wrong relationship. If you’re receiving it and not giving it, you’re taking advantage of the other person.
Never pursue love with someone who takes you for granted because someone who is only half interested doesn’t deserve the whole you.
Similarly, don’t be reckless with someone’s emotions; if you’re going to invest the large amount of time that comes with long-term relationships, be passionate about it, and about him or her.
Love is a crazy thing. You crave it when you don’t have it, yet often miss the chance when you do.
Finding “the one” is probably the hardest challenge you’ll face in life. Just like life itself, the only way you’ll get it right is through trial and error.
It may take longer than you expect or wish, but never give up on yourself or finding it. Sure, there will be lots of Mr. Rights out there, but only one Mr. Perfect.
Be patient and never settle for someone for the sake of it, or because you want the relationship rather than the person. This will only result in more upset further down the line.
Finally, know that everyone is beautiful to someone. Just because he or she is not around at this instant, doesn’t mean that the person for you does not exist.
Your perfect match is out there; it’s just unfortunate that the more you try to find something, the harder it is to see.
This article originally appeared: elite-daily
