One of the number one questions women ask me is why men lie and cheat. The answer, in one word is — shame.
Now you're probably asking yourself, "Dr. D, how in the hell does someone who lies and cheats do so out of shame?"
From your perspective, cheating comes across as caring only about one's own self, one's own activities, and not giving a damn about the rest of the world. But the truth is ... beneath it all, the exact opposite is driving his cheating behavior. Such behavior is merely a mask.
Beneath it lies a very insecure man (or woman) who fears rejection, criticism, and abandonment.
Now don't think for one minute that I don't understand how you feel. More than likely you think the self-centered jerk who lied to you, broke your heart, and made you feel like a fool over and over again has no clue of what "shame" is. Herein lies the conundrum. How can a person operating with such a lack of emotional intelligence, a high degree of false pride, and an over inflated ego be ashamed of anything? Put simply, he doesn't know any better.
